“Life doesn’t get easier, we just get stronger.”

A thought provoking quote from one of my latest reads.  I love reading.  I thank my 8th grade literature teacher for this love.  I read all sorts of books; self help, psychotherapy, fiction, nonfiction, and often the Bible.

Of late I just finished the novel “The Sound of Glass” by Karen White, the book from which the above quote is taken. It is very well written, a New York’s Best seller, a fiction with so much truth in it, it’s scary.  Intricately woven are the lives of four women who are all but strangers but have one thread in common, dealing with the aftermath of being victims of domestic violence. The stories reveal the intensity and longevity of pain, the masking, the hiding, the guilt, the shame that all battered women (and men) often feel but don’t report until they have found safety.

The story line repeatedly softly shouts…. There is new found strength when there is validation and affirmation. There is peace when the fear is dealt with and eventually replaced.

And ironically I think that can be a story line for all of us. FEAR of… You fill in the blank…

FEAR produces anxiety.  Anxiety feeds fear.  Fear causes us to mask.  Fear whispers you need to hide.  FEAR causes us keep secrets.  Fear imprisons.  Fear immobilizes.  Fear paralyzes. Fear can and often drive our behavior.  Period.

Think about this with me.  Fear of drowning, keeps us from going to the pool, the beach or lake, let alone from learning how to swim.  Fear of falling keeps us from experiencing riding in a roller coaster or flying in an airplane…let alone skydiving.  Fear of snakes will keep you from walking in the woods.  Fear of speaking in front of your Sunday school class will keep you from teaching or heaven forbid leading a weekend workshop. Fear of hurting someone’s feelings keeps you from setting boundaries.  Or fear of rejection stifles any possibility of a potentially beautiful relationship.  Fear of losing someone will keep you from totally investing.

So I ask you, what is your fear?  What is keeping you from experiencing life, joy and peace?  Life isn’t going to get easier; you will have to get stronger.

Counseling can help you acknowledge your fears, reduce your anxiety, establish boundaries, develop new coping skills – counseling can help … think about it.  What is keeping you from calling?